My Angel, Best-Friend, Love and Soul-mate
When we started this journey in 1999, I never dreamed that we would have such an incredible life together or that it would end so soon and so abruptly. When God called you into eternal rest on May 5, 2009. I felt as though I had been cheated. Cheated out of an extraordinary life with you and out of all the plans that we had made. I fought hard and tried not to be mad with God. When you left I was crushed and felt as if my life ended with yours.
God is truly amazing as He quickly showed me that our life together was full and complete. He revealed to me that he put you and I on a fast track. From our first hello on January 1, 1999, to our first meeting on January 12th, to your proposal January 17th and our wedding February 27th. God made no mistake when he put us together. We shared a lifetime in the span of 10 short years.
God showed me that you and I had experienced more in ten short years than most in a lifetime. Today, I am honored that God loved and trusted me enough with the assignment of being your wife. God loved you so much that he would only allow you to be away from him for 43 years.
So, when you got here you hit the ground running and you knew that you had to cram a lifetime into a short span of time. You have earned your rest. I could almost hear the angels singing and rejoicing when you returned. I can hear God saying, “Welcome Home Son and Well Done My Good and Faithful Servant”.
You gave so much and asked for so little in return. Whenever, I would ask you for something your response to me was always the same, “Do whatever you want as long as it makes you happy”. Oftentimes in response I would ask the question “Well, what would make you happy?” your reply always was simply “Seeing You Happy”.
Through you I experienced God’s unconditional love and grace. You loved me so much! You loved me unconditionally. Despite all my faults and idiosyncrasies. You loved me! And you made sure that everyone else knew it as well. James, you are my heart and the one whom my soul truly loves.
What we experienced was rare and will be cherished by me forever…I will forever carry you in my spirit. What a privilege it has been to be a part of your life. And an even greater honor and privilege to have been Mrs. James D. Moore.
Life Together
Our life together was nothing short of being amazing. Our marriage was filled with happiness, joy, admiration, mutual respect, devotion and an incredible amount of love. We had some rough times, some ups and downs, and some highs and lows, but with and through God we emerged victoriously each time. I often told you that I would be happy and content with you in a cardboard box with newspaper curtains. This still holds true today, because of the love that we shared.
The amount of growth that I experienced is immeasurable. You not only touched and changed my life but the lives of countless others. You have left and incredible legacy and a giant footprint of your time here on earth. You led by example and your legacy brings life, hope and promise to a dark and gloomy world.
Your “dash”, the time from your birth to the time that God called you home on that Tuesday morning, speaks volume. It is my prayer that my dash will do the same.
Angel, God has brought me a long way since your passing. I am strengthened and encouraged. I can hear you saying don’t cry love, don’t cry, I’m still here.
Although I miss your physical presence to this day, I am at peace. I am so proud of you. I will always love you and you will remain in my heart until we meet again. I am blessed, as I know that God blessed me with my very own angel.
Rest my love as I will see you again. I know that you are here with me in spirit and over the years I have found such comfort in that.
You are and will always be my KING!
Your Loving Wife,
Karen
James Story
It has taken me almost 10 years to muster the strength to share this publicly. But now it comes at a time when much awareness needs to be brought to Sepsis. What James and I thought was allergies was the beginning of his demise. I lost my heartbeat to this dreadful illness on May 5th, 2009.
James had just gone to our primary care doctor two weeks prior. He had gotten blood work done and it was all normal. His blood pressure was good, and he had lost 75 pounds.
So, how could it be that he is gone? Friday, May 1, 2009 started out like any ordinary weekend for us. James was an Executive Chef Monday-Friday but did what he loved on the weekends which was photography. We had a full weekend of events. The entire weekend his eyes were watering, and nose running. We just figured it was allergies and kept going about our weekend.
Over the course of the weekend we had meetings, weddings and dinners with friends. Although he felt bad he was a trooper and persevered onward. By the time we got home on Sunday, James had a fever. So, he took a shower and got in the bed and I started administering Tylenol and Advil alternately every 4 hours. I asked him to let me take him to the emergency room, but he insisted that he was fine and that we would get up early on Monday and go see our primary care physician. His fever finally broke at 2:00am and he said he felt better.
We slept and got up around 6:00am and start getting dressed. We wanted to make sure that we would be at the doctor’s office by 8:00am. Within an hour of waking up James was vomiting and had diarrhea. He was so weak at that point that I had to call EMS to get him to the hospital.
After spending several hours in the ER, I was told that he had an infection in his blood. By this time James started to lose the feeling in his legs and he kept telling me that he couldn’t see. By 4:00pm they decided to move him to ICU. Because they had prepared a sterile environment I couldn’t go in to be with him. I kissed him on his forehead and they wheeled him away. I never dreamed that this would be the last kiss and the last time that I would see him alive. We parted, and I waited in the waiting room on pins and needles for hours. The attending physician finally came to talk to me and said that James prognosis wasn’t good, but they were doing all they could.
I was told that if he did survive that he may have brain damage and the quality of his life would be severely diminished. He advised that I go home and get some rest and the nurses would call me if anything change. Reluctantly I went home. Once I arrived home I was nervous, couldn’t sleep and all I could do was pray and look at his picture. Around 2:00am I received the dreaded phone call that James was slipping away. Crushed and broken I jumped out of bed and got dressed as fast as I could. I prayed the entire time hoping for a miracle. I knew James was gone by the time I got to the hospital because I heard birds chirping. Birds don’t chirp at 3:00am. James transitioned at 2:50am.
The Devastation
I was devastated by the time I reached ICU. It took me 2 hours before I could muster up the strength and courage to go in and see him. My angel, my love departed this life on May 5th. The infection won as it had invaded his entire body, organ by organ, blood cell by blood cell.This was the day that my life changed forever. This is the day that I felt as if someone literally pulled the rug out from under me. I went home broken, clueless, filled with lots of questions and no answers.
How could this be possible when he was losing weight, his blood pressure and blood work was all normal two weeks prior. After I got home the attending physician called and asked if I wanted an autopsy done. My first question was “Why?”. My sweet angel was gone, and I wanted him to finally be at peace. At that time an autopsy was futile because it wasn’t going to bring James back.
I didn’t find out the cause of James death until 2 days later when I got a phone call from our primary care physician. She stated that she wanted to talk to me first and that I would receive a follow up call from an Epidemiologist at the CDC. I was told that James had Meningococcal meningitis. (Sepsis and Meningitis)
This was the first time I had ever heard the word “sepsis” and unfortunately it wouldn’t be my last. In 2016 I almost lost my life to sepsis. You can read my story here: https://www.sepsis.org/faces/karen-moore/
The Fight Is Far From Over
Now that I’m stronger and have found my voice I don’t want this to keep happening. Sepsis for me is like an bad boyfriend that keeps coming back after the break-up. There must be a change in hospital policies and protocols. Something must be done NOW!!
Although James and countless others lost their voice I still have mine. And I will use it to bring awareness to this dreadful and awful illness.Too many lives are being cut short because of sepsis. Doctors will tell you that every minute counts. No, every second counts!! On May 5, 2009, my son and I lost a husband, father, best friend, soul-mate, provider, and business partner.
Don’t allow our story to become yours. Please get involved. If you have gotten anything from our story, learn all that you can about sepsis. Know the signs and educate your family, friends and loved ones.